Peeling A Male Onion – Is He Relationship Material?

Dating Tip of the Week – Peeling A Male Onion

So you met…someone. Is he a Man or a Guy? Here are three tips to help you decode if he’s relationship material

1. Ask your burning questions three times.

Why three? Because you see, when a guy first meets you the main reason he’s hanging around is to make a big enough impression to get you into bed. Nothing wrong with that, it’s purely instinctual, but if you’re looking for a long term relationship YOU need to be in charge of finding out if this guy is the man you’re looking for, and ladies, YOU need to set the standard for what it takes to get you! Steve Harvey has great advice when it comes to separating the boys from the men, and he shoots straight from the hip when it comes to getting past the Best Behaviour Syndrome. Now, why three times? Because the first time a man will tell you what he thinks will make him look best in your eyes…cause hopefully that will be enough to get the cookie. The second time he will say what he thinks you want to hear, since he’s still trying to impress you, appease you, and of course, get the cookie. The third time, all that’s left is the truth, because by then he can’t think of anything else to come up with.  Make sure you ask three different occasions, three different ways.

WATCH: HOW OFTEN SHOULD YOU SEE SOMEBODY WHEN YOU FIRST START DATING

2. Observe his behaviours, not his words.

This ties into tip #1, so be sure you are not blinded by his looks, charm, words, or generosity. Be alert! A guy will definitely seek to overwhelm you with his beautiful words of affirmation and his promises of rosie and romantic futures, but words are easy to come up with and dispense. But what does he DO? Is he fulfilling the three P’s, the behaviours that define what a real man is? Being Protective of you (not controlling or demanding), being a Provider (not waiting for you to pay when you go out), and being willing to show the world that you are precious to him by Professing his interest in a relationship with you for all to see.

3. Make him wait for the cookie.

This is the easiest way to know if he’s a man who’s with you because he finds you intriguing, interesting, and is appreciative of who you are, or if you’ve come across a guy who’s really looking to get into a relationship to fulfil his own needs. We are the object of men’s desire as much as the object of a guys desire…but guys don’t have the patience to wait, they are keen on instant gratification. So if you’re looking for someone who’s going to be in it for the long haul, you have to see if he’s willing to delay gratification because real relationships are full of moments where you have to put your own needs aside for the comfort of your partner. If he can’t do that from the get-go, it’s likely he doesn’t have it in him in the first place.

Here’s what you can do going forward:

If he’s NOT ready to commit and you’re tired of this scenario, or just want to make sure your next kiss is with someone who’s ready, get a copy of No More Assholes and find someone seriously amazing and ready to commit. He’s out there, I promise.

If he’s ready to commit and it’s time to take it to the next stage (woohoo!), read After The First Kiss – 7 Steps to Making Your First Year Together Ridiculously Awesome  and make sure you’re creating a strong foundation together.

This is the book that helps you avoid turning little things into big fights, and you’ll love how the advice inside helps you create the Magical relationship you’re looking for. Peaceful, cohesive, passionate, and intimate.

Need help figuring the whole thing out? Let’s work together one on one so you can gain the clarity and peace of mind you need right now. My specialty is your peace of mind, and I’m adept at giving the perspective you need along with the tools you’ll use to start feeling happier, clearer, and on your way to the Love you want ASAP.

Look, nothing sucks more than giving your heart to someone who isn’t giving theirs back.

If this is something you’ve done too often it’s time to break that pattern, and lucky for you, you’ve met the pattern breaker. You’ll use different behaviors so you get a different outcome, and I know how to trigger a man’s brain in all the right spots.

Your happiness depends on your decisions first and foremost, not his, and I’m the Sherpa who carries the burden of knowledge and shows you the way.

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Chantal Heide – Canada’s Dating Coach

Chantal Heide is an Author and Motivational Speaker, focusing on dating and relationship building. Her books Dating 101, Comeback Queen, Fake Love Need Not Apply, No More Assholes, After The First Kiss, Fix That Shit, Say Yes To Goodness, and Custom Made (available on this website, Amazon, and your favorite online book retailer) help her readers attract the love they’re looking for, regardless of their starting point . View her BOOKS page for more information. Be sure to check out more free advice on Facebook, YouTube, and Itunes, as well as fun tidbits about her life on Instagram and Twitter.

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