Live The Dating Life You Want

 

Don’t like the way you’re dating life is going? Change it!

Is there something happening in your romantic life that you don’t like? Do you choose the wrong guy? Don’t like where you go on dates? Do you think you spend too much time waiting for him to text you back?

You have the power to change all of these things. How? By living the life that you want to have.

 

WATCH: HOW TO DATE AND NOT SETTLE

You don’t get to choose what happens to you in life, but you do get to choose how you react. Let’s brainstorm. Whatever it is that you want to change about how or who you date, write it down in the middle of a piece of blank paper. Around that problem write down all of the things that cause the problem, good and bad, by you or your date. If your problem is that you spend too much of your time waiting for him to text you back, the things that happen to cause that may include:

 

 

• He takes too long to text you back

• You worry that if he doesn’t text you back, it’s over

• You think if he doesn’t text you back, you did something wrong

• You have too much free time on your hands

• He isn’t very articulate and doesn’t text very often

 

Look at the problem. Look at what contributes to the problem. What is there that YOU are responsible for? In this case it is you worry, you think, and you have.

You can’t change him, you can change you, and you can start that right now.

 

Decide what you want

What DO you want? This is really important because we’re talking about the rest of your life here! Grab another piece of paper and some colourful markers and write down in the middle of that page what it is that you want. In the case of Waiting for Texts, it might be, “I want to have conversations in person!” Draw happy squiggles and hearts and flowers around it if you like. And own this statement. Own your passion, your loves, and your life.

 

 

Adjust your thinking

Your perspective is not necessarily what is really happening. Perhaps you’ve heard the adage: There are 3 sides to every story: Your side, their side, and the truth. It’s true. When you are unhappy in a situation, take another look at what is going on from everyone’s point of view and decide whether you can make a change, or should walk away. In the case of Waiting for Texts, and you’re worried that you did something wrong, then you need to talk to your date – not text but in-person – to discuss your fears. If you aren’t willing to do that, you need to find a man you feel comfortable talking to. And add that to the list of things you want!

 

 

Cheer yourself on!

The key to making changes in your life stick is to believe that you deserve to be happy. And you do deserve to be happy. Be your own cheerleader. When you set out to change your behaviour and your mind tells you it’s too hard, or you aren’t ready, remind yourself that you deserve to be happy, and that you can take one step right now in the right direction. In the case of Waiting for Texts it might be calling your love and leaving a voice mail instead of sending a text. There is only one person who will 100% always agree with you, always have your back, and that person in YOU.

Think positively and take small steps and walk towards the love you want.

 

Here’s what you can do going forward:  

When it’s time to make sure your next kiss is with someone who’s ready, get a copy of No More Assholes and find someone seriously amazing and ready to commit. He’s out there, I promise.

 

 

If he’s ready to commit and it’s time to take it to the next stage (woohoo!), read After The First Kiss – 7 Steps to Making Your First Year Together Ridiculously Awesome  and make sure you’re creating a strong foundation together.

This is the book that helps you avoid turning little things into big fights, and you’ll love how the advice inside helps you create the Magical relationship you’re looking for. Peaceful, cohesive, passionate, and intimate.

 

Need help figuring the whole thing out? Let’s work together one on one so you can gain the clarity and peace of mind you need right now. My specialty is your peace of mind, and I’m adept at giving the perspective you need along with the tools you’ll use to start feeling happier, clearer, and on your way to the Love you want ASAP.

 

Look, nothing sucks more than giving your heart to someone who isn’t giving theirs back.

 

If this is something you’ve done too often it’s time to break that pattern, and lucky for you, you’ve met the pattern breaker. You’ll use different behaviors so you get a different outcome, and I know how to trigger a man’s brain in all the right spots.

Your happiness depends on your decisions first and foremost, not his, and I’m the Sherpa who carries the burden of knowledge and shows you the way.

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Chantal Heide – Canada’s Dating Coach

Chantal Heide is an Author and Motivational Speaker, focusing on dating and relationship building. Her books Dating 101, Comeback Queen, Fake Love Need Not Apply, No More Assholes, After The First Kiss, Fix That Shit, Say Yes To Goodness, and Custom Made (available on this website, Amazon, and your favorite online book retailer) help her readers attract the love they’re looking for, regardless of their starting point . View her BOOKS page for more information. Be sure to check out more free advice on Facebook, YouTube, and Itunes, as well as fun tidbits about her life on Instagram and Twitter.

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